Though the alarm rings, 
every cell in my body screams to keep sleeping. 
That way I don’t have to talk to anyone, 
smile and pretend like I enjoy living. 
It takes a lot of effort to get myself 
together and show up at work. 
Once I go out to the world
I have to pretend to be ok, happy and positive, 
if my act falters an inch, 
I have to explain myself to curious onlookers. 

Though it takes so much energy 
just to be out of bed, to work, to eat ;
I get blamed for not being positive 
and cheerful from the people 
I called the loved ones’.

Why can’t you just be ok
with me being depressed? 
with not wanting 
to go on a trip or shopping? 
Maybe I like being moody, 
maybe I want you 
to cheer me up 
or maybe 
I just want a hug. 

I can’t just THINK and be 
cheerful/positive, 
my brain doesn’t work
the same way as yours. 

Maybe 
you should try 
and understand 
before judging…

– H. N –